How to Talk to a Sensor

First things first. I would like to wish two of my favorite SPs, Jensen Ackles and Justin Bieber, a happy birthday. And apologies to Jensen Ackles for putting him in a sentence with Justin Bieber, twice.

How to talk to a Sensor. Or more specifically an ESFP. This may or may not apply to other Sensor types, I don't claim to speak for them. Contrary to popular opinion we aren't all basically the same.

Since I've been into MBTI, the more I interact with different types the more I realize there really, really is a fundamental communication difference between Sensors and Intuitives. I'd venture to say it makes up at least 50% of the so-called communication issues in relationships. There are some problems between Se and Si and Ne and Ni as well, but not on the same level. I'm gonna do my best to clear this up and tell you N types what you're doing wrong. Hint, it's not just us being dumb.

(Edit: I should probably add that most of these communication problems are with NFs. NTs seem to better understand that we operate on different levels. Usually.)

Sensing vs. Intuition

Yeah here we go again. I've made a post on this before and most of the important stuff is there. But this time I'm gonna focus on the communication differences going on here.

Essentially it's this. Sensors and Intuitives have completely different priorities. As I said, they see reality on a fundamentally different level than each other. Both sides tend to default to seeing the other method of perception as stupid, even if they don't outright say it. Yes, don't think Sensors can't pick up on your condescending Intuitive tone. It's literally what we do - hear.

Intuitives don't see reality as it currently exists, as being important. What it all "means" is what "really" matters. Since their Sensing function is low, most will tell you they see and operate in reality just as functionally as Sensors do. This is because they've never experienced what it's like to truly be immersed in their environment. They believe seeing the underlying "truth" of what's happening in their environment is the reality.

Sensors (obviously) don't. Sensors trust what they see, what they experience, what's been proven. All that theoretical stuff doesn't mean shit if it doesn't help us get ahead so we don't care to hear about it.

The Problem

The problem comes in when Intuitive types try to force their perspective onto Sensors. I cannot tell you how many times I've entered into a benign conversation with an N type only to have them pull some completely twisted abstract shit out of it that was absolutely not what I said.

Don't fucking do this. Seriously.

We are straightforward people. If we are talking about cars, we are actually... wait for it... talking about cars. We are not talking about how all of society has become reliant on a gasoline-dependent vehicle and it has torn us apart as a community, and we aren't secretly jonesing to talk about it either. If we want to take the conversation there, we will. Most of the time though, we just want to fucking talk about cars.

And I do love talking about cars...

Intuitive types are not satisfied with this. They do not experience reality in its concrete form, or rather they do in a very, very watered down manner. They can't relate. So what they do is try to extract meaning from the literal words Sensors say and attach an ideal (NF) or concept (NT) to them where there was none. Ne types will make mental leaps based on assumptions that you are following the same thought processes as them. And I'm gonna be real blunt here: you put words in our mouth. Yes you do. It's how your mind works, so it's not completely your fault, but you need to recognize that you're doing it so you can stop.

Ni types on the other hand will assume you have the same overall perspective of reality as they do and get taken aback when something you say challenges it. They won't explicitly say they're offended. What they will do is use this warped Socratic Method where they keep asking you leading questions until they get you to agree with them. Actually Ne types do this too. And when Sensors shut that shit down and refuse to engage, they defend themselves on the internetz by calling us close-minded idiots. Looking at you INTJ.

The Solution

The solution to this is to realize we don't care. It's as simple as that.

We don't care why mankind created words and what purpose they actually serve and how we should interpret them and no. We don't care. Go on and figure out the meaning of life if you want. Unless we can usefully apply it to our current situation, it does. Not. Matter. We don't think about stuff for the sake of thinking. We are people of action.

But if I know one thing about Intuitives it's that they need to know why. Why don't you care? There must be some deep psyche hurt, surely some emotional avoidance causing you to react this way. Or do you just not like using your brain? No. We don't connect with people on a verbal level as much as we do on a physical level. We connect through experiences. Words are secondary to experiences, they're just there to serve experiences. For Intuitives it's the other way around.

Here comes the part where the Intuitives reading say, "How come we have to accommodate you in the conversation? Why don't you accommodate us?" Good question. Personally I am okay with taking a dip in the "theory" pool. But what usually happens when I concede to that is that becomes the entire focus of the conversation. Intuitives will naturally always try to steer the conversation in the abstract direction, and Sensors will respond by bringing it back to reality. The further your ideas are from reality, the more annoyed we get and the more we feel like we're wasting our time. And when we get tired of the conversation, we bow out, whereas Intuitives just push further (see above).

Anyway, to answer that question, I guess it just comes down to how much you care about getting along with the person. Me, I don't choose to surround myself with people who can only theorize about everything. I can't relate to those people and they don't really have a place in my life so I don't make an effort to accommodate them. Sensors operate in the present, so for the most part, we don't spend time with people we don't care for if we don't have to. The only exception to that possibly being SFJs.

Lemme just say, I never purposely avoid people once I've determined they are a certain type. I genuinely like people and I like being around them so I couldn't do that if I tried. But I still make a note of patterns. I use MBTI to figure out why I just plain don't get along with certain people, and whether or not it would be worthwhile to fix it. I get along best with SPs. We're usually on the same page, and they add more to my life than any other type. Realistically, unless the person is really special, chances are if they aren't SP it's not worth the effort. We're just gonna keep clashing.

Not everyone's gonna get along. That's how it is. If you don't get along with Sensors, then avoid them (good luck with that). But for chrissakes stop bitching and moaning about how stubborn we are just because we see things differently. You're only making yourself look like an ignorant dumbass.

Enneagram Music

Thought I'd try something a little different. Usually I talk about MBTI but Enneagram is pretty cool stuff too. So I'm gonna talk about that.

I'm not as well versed on Enneagram, but I think having a combo of Se (reality-based) and Fi (empathy) along with social/sexual instinct makes me particularly good at figuring out people's tl;dr's. I haven't studied MBTI for very long but people tell me I'm not too shabby at this stuff. It's cuz I've been observing people all my life. All this stuff just kinda categorizes what I already know.

Sidebar, I've met several people who don't like being boxed in. This strikes me as retarded. Whether you like it or not, you are definable, and you are predictable. The very fact that you don't like being boxed in tells me you have 4 in your tritype. People hate hearing they aren't special. 16 MBTI types x 2 subtypes x (18 Enneatypes x 12 Enneatypes x 6 Enneatypes)* x 6 instinctual variants = 248,832 basic personalities; 7 billion / 248,832 = ±28,000 people on the planet with your exact personality type. So yeah, you're not special.
*tritypes

Now that I got that out. This here's a list of songs that I think represent the sentiment behind all the Enneagram wings. These are all songs from my iTunes so none of them are shitty. Only the best for my ears.

Heart Triad

2w1 Needs to be a martyr.
Find Your Love - "I bet if I give all my love / Then nothing's gonna tear us apart"

2w3 Needs to be recognized for being needed.
Just A Friend - "I can be your fantasy / But you say I'm just a friend"

3w2 Needs everyone to see them succeed/look good, needs approval.
Look At Me Now - "Look at me now, look at me now / Oh, I'm getting paper"

3w4 Needs to succeed/look good by standing out from everyone else.
Rock Star - "You can't be me / I'm a rock star / I'm rhyming on the top of a cop car"

4w3 Needs to be better than others by being unique/special.
Only Girl (In The World) - "Want you to make me feel / Like I'm the only girl in the world"

4w5 Needs to figure out/define self separate from everyone else.
The Real Slim Shady - "I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady / All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating"

Head Triad

5w4 Needs to understand/define the world in terms of/in relation to themselves.
Love Is A Losing Game - "Though I battle blind / Love is a fate resigned"

5w6 Needs to understand how to operate (in) the outside world.
Function - "I'm out here tryna function, out here tryna function / Don't talk to me bitch if we ain't fuckin'"

6w5 Needs to know all risks and figure out the truth about any given situation.
Patiently Waiting - "If I get shot today my phone'll stop ringing again / These industry niggas ain't friends, they know how to pretend"

6w7 Needs to fit in, needs loyalty.
Only - "Bad bitches who I fuck with, mad bitches we don't fuck with"

7w6 Needs to experience new things with others.
Doses And Mimosas - "Crying when you're by yourself / Cause of what they think / About you / Makes time go slow"

7w8 Needs to get the most out of life on their terms.
Primadonna Girl - "All I ever wanted was the world / I can't help that I need it all"

Body Triad

8w7 Needs to aggressively take what they want.
Not For Long - "You will be mine / Even if you're somebody else's / But not for long"

8w9 Needs to prevent others from getting in the way of what they want.
All Me - "Came up, that's all me / Stay true, that's all me / No help, that's all me"

9w8 Needs to prevent others from disrupting their chill.
Day 'n' Nite - "He seems alive though he is feeling blue / The sun is shining man he's super cool"

9w1 Needs to live without conflict by being a good person.
Bad Religion - "'If it brings me to my knees / It's a bad religion"

1w9 Needs to figure out/live by what's right and wrong.
Only God Can Judge Me - "For instance say a playa hatin' mark is out to kill ya / Would you be wrong, for buckin' a nigga to the pavement?"

1w2 Needs to act like a saint.
I Would - "Yeah, it's not about what I want / It's all about what you need"

That's it. Just a little intro to another personality typing system. Hope you enjoyed my excellent taste in music. 'Til next time, bitches.

Hot Guy MBTI: Cody Simpson

Finally. It's about time for another one of these. I told you guys I'm running out though so this might be one of the last ones. Unless you know, you want to inform me of some hot guys I haven't heard of. For science.

Cody Simpson. Does that name ring a bell? I'm guessing no. Unless you're one of the hundreds of teenagers who ended up here after finding my post on Cameron Dallas (my most viewed post by the way, thanks). Cody Simpson was signed around the same time as Justin Bieber and he's like a year younger. And from Australia. Man, why are there so many hot people from Australia? That one's on the top of my list once I get a private jet.

Type:

ESFP

Surprise. Don't get me wrong, I do not discriminate when it comes to guys. Hot is hot. But I'm sorry, ESFPs are just natural born hotties. For every one hot guy out there who is another (non-SP) type, there is no less than one ESFP who is as hot as him. This is just a fact.

Se

I'm gonna be honest, Cody is not my type exactly. He has kind of a different looking face. It takes some getting used to. It's like, the rest of the stuff is on point but then he has that really Grecian facial structure and it throws me off. Anyway.

What sucks about these mellow surfer types is their personalities are really fucking hard to read. I mean, the SP (Se) part is usually pretty obvious. If you wanna pick out the SPs in class you look for everyone with DGAF face. "But doesn't everyone have DGAF face in school?" No. NTs have the I'm-smarter-than-you face, NFs have not-present-in-this-reality face, and SJs are the only ones doing what they're supposed to do.

Where was I? Oh right. Here are a couple interviews of him in chill Se mode.

I picked these ones in particular because they're about a sore subject (dating a Kardashian) and people reveal their character more when they're put in a tough spot. Yet here Cody is just taking it like a champ. He is somewhat reserved for an ESFP. I think the reason for that is because we do still have introverted feeling, so when it comes to feelings talk we like to keep that to ourselves. Also see the enneagram stuff at the bottom.

If you're still doubting he's a Se dom, I'll just leave this here:

So...that's on my blog now.

Fi

Lemme think of how I'm gonna explain this part. So, at this point the options are ESTP and ESFP. And, basically, he's not ESTP. Put simply, he doesn't have that win-at-all-costs spirit to him. Not all ESTPs are in your face with that stuff but you can still see it under the surface. They want action, they want their way. ESFPs are just softer. Man, fuck, just read my ESFP vs. ESTP post and you tell me which one best matches the person in the interviews.

If you want an example of an ESTP male pop star, you're looking at an Adam Levine type. His music is Fi because that's what sells. But he's got that jerky aura to him, like if you met him you know he'd be an asshole. Justin Bieber may act like an asshole, but in interviews he comes across pretty sweet and Feeler-y like Cody. ESFPs are defensive assholes, and ESTPs are offensive assholes. There we go, that works.

Enneagram:

9w8 7w6 3w2 so/sx
973 - The Facilitator. Brings people together, dynamic and likeable. Sociable, ambitious, friendly and helpful. source

Cody seems like one of those rare(r) ESFP 9s. He's so laid-back, it doesn't seem like anything affects him whatsoever. I think he'd be perfectly happy working at Dairy Queen. Or whatever the Aussie equivalent is. He seems pretty grounded in reality though, none of that anxious idealism that comes with 9w1. 9's are more reserved since they don't have any actual opinions. Just kidding. Sort of.

The next number's hard, but I'm gonna go with 7w6 just because a) he's an ESFP and b) 7's don't really have too much direction. They're kind of like 9 that way, they just take whatever life offers them and run with it. 6w7 is possible. 7w6 is more toned-down than 7w8. You can't ignore a 7w8.

3 because he is, after all, a pretty boy pop star with a six-pack. He doesn't seem narcissistic enough to have it higher in his tritype. No apparent 4 identity issues. 3w2 it is.

Social/sexual is your basic pop star variant. Connecting with people (sx) on a broad yet shallow level (so).

Okie dokie then. That's all. Have a nice day.

Hot Guy MBTI: Aaron Paul

Guys I made a big boo-boo. This is a re-post of a post I made in January. I originally typed Aaron Paul as something else but didn't take the time to actually watch any interviews with him. LEARN from my mistakes - this is not how you type people! You have to watch them. This is what happens when I don't go with my gut. Anyway, on with the re-typing.

Today's hot guy is from one of my favorite TV shows of all time, and it should be yours too if you have any taste whatsoever. You probably know him better as Jesse Pinkman than as Aaron Paul.

Please yes

Type:

ESFP

Seriously though, what is it with all these sexy ESFPs?

"But I thought you said he was the complete opposite-" Yes. ESFPs are varied creatures. There are bubbly ESFPs, there are badass ESFPs, there are jerk ESFPs, there are scholarly ESFPs... These are all official subtypes, just so you know. Aaron is a chill ESFP in real life and plays a badass ESFP on Breaking Bad.

Se

This guy...

You wanna know why Jesse - um, Aaron... makes such a good Jesse Pinkman? It's because he is Jesse Pinkman. In a sense. He's like what Jesse would be like if his life had gone a lot differently. This is Aaron Paul's AMA on Reddit. You'll notice he's taken to using "bitch" a lot just like his character. As I said, they're one and the same. Only different. You probably won't find a Fe-dom using that without including some version of a "sorry" at the end of every comment.

Here, alas, is an interview with Aaron Paul - an hour long mind you, so we get a good idea of who this guy is, along with how he interacts with others:

Notice Aaron doesn't really take the lead on answering questions, he's more there to have a good time. I'm thinking Bryan Cranston and Vince Gilligan are ESTJ and ENTJ respectively, so they're good at commandeering the conversation. Aaron in contrast is a lot more relaxed, friendly, and in the moment. When he does talk, it's usually to interject and go off what someone else started. He strays from the topic more and livens things up.

Aaron's mentioned he is especially attracted to "edgy, intense, dark films that just grab you by the throat". He's into stuff that gives him an adrenaline rush. You likely won't hear any of that coming out of an SJ's mouth. Nope, this is pure SP. Se craves stuff that makes an impact.

Finally, not to toot my own horn or anything but uh... Anyone who I've found just drop-dead, wow you are a gift to planet earth, attractive... Pretty much has Se in their stack somewhere. Se is an attractive function. It makes you take care of your appearance. Not to mention the fact that people tend to be attracted to others in their own quadra (for me, ESFP, ISFP, ENTJ, INTJ (I know...no other quadra would take them :( )).

Fi

You may have noticed that Aaron is an extremely devoted husband. To say he fawns over his wife is an understatement. If you haven't noticed this, I'm guessing you've literally never seen Aaron talk on TV ever.

Fi loves to express itself. Aaron talks about how much he adores his wife every chance he gets. You won't catch an ExTx doing this kinda thing.

Seriously. Every, chance.

Jealous? A little...

Aaron is also amazingly loyal to his fans. Thanks to bad experiences with meeting his icons when he moved to Hollywood, Aaron has vowed to treat all his fans with respect and gratitude. Get this, he actually gets their phone numbers sometimes and calls them. He doesn't even get upset when they camp outside his house. Awww. Fi is known for its one-on-one, deep level of empathy. It's able to project its perceived emotions onto others (Fe does the opposite). In other words he treats his fans (and everyone else) as he wants to be treated.

Enneagram:

Haha. This is not gonna be accurate but this is my blog and I get to say what I want. So here is my guess based on limited info and the general vibe I get.

7w6 2w3 9w8 sx/so

729 - The Harmoniser. Gentle hearted, innovative and helpful. Seeks harmony with sense of humour whilst retaining ability to inspire. source

Aaron seems pretty balanced between 7 and 6. I'm pretty sure about all the types above but I'm not 100 on the order. Anyway, 7w6 is pretty laid-back and fun-loving, and easy to get along with. They like people and they like having a good time. They like experiencing new things, and 7 is pretty standard for ESFP. It's kind of an anything-goes type.

Like I said before, Aaron loves his wife uber much. He seems very others-oriented rather than self-oriented, which is more 3/4ish. He definitely has a drive for success though, which is what the 3 wing is.

And 9w8, seems like lots of people I type end up having this. It makes for a relaxed yet assertive personality. It just kind of underlies the other types. Is that a proper sentence? Whatever.

Sx/so mainly because of how absolutely attached he is to his wife. Tells me he is very into the one-on-one connections. Social second because he is, after all, an ESFP, and he doesn't seem reclusive enough to be self-pres.

That's all I got, bitches.

Letter Typing

People who have no idea what MBTI is are gonna get completely the wrong impression from this title. Heh.

Newbies to MBTI like to type people by letters. It's simple, and it's what the actual MBTI association advocates. Then once they get the hang of it, they start hanging out in the online MBTI communities and get told that everything they're doing is wrong and they need to go by the functions cuz typing by letters is ignorant.

I've been interested in this stuff for like...half a year now. Not too long but I don't think MBTI is hard to get the hang of. It's just like applying categorizations to people you already know. And after going from letters to functions and seeing all the errors in logic people (read: N types) make by trying to turn personalities into this weird, abstract Ti Ni whatever shit*... I think there is a lot more validity to letter typing than people give it credit for. But I still think it's a good phase to go through, learning the functions, just so you know what interacts with what and how it manifests and all that shit.

*People are not that complicated. They just like to think they are. (Ironically it is the same Intuitives who call Sensors close-minded, that box themselves in with strict definitions of functions.)

Extroversion vs. Introversion

Gwen Stefani (ESFP) and Pharrell (ISFP)

I'm just gonna jump right into it. If you can't figure out where I was going with the intro then you aren't smart enough to read further.

Main difference

One talks and sometimes listens, the other listens and sometimes talks

More stuff

Extroverts maintain eye contact more while talking. They speak, then think, then speak, and often backtrack. They generally seem more engaged in the conversation. More gestures, more facial expression, more excitability, more vocal variation.

Introverts have softer voices. They're more modest in speech. They hold themselves back in conversation and in general. They seem more serious, and have more tendency toward anxiety. Often more awkward than their E counterparts.

Myths

Not exactly a myth, but a common one is extroverts can spend longer times with people, or gain energy around people versus losing it. This is mostly true, but there are a number of people who don't fit this, and social orientation exists on a scale. Exceptions include ExTx's who sometimes just don't like people very much and spend more time alone, and ExFPs (usually ENFPs) who are Fi subtype and "wear out" (for lack of better word) over the course of conversation. You rarely find an introverted ExFJ unless they're depressed.

Sensing vs. Intuition

Seth Rogen (INTP) and Snoop Dogg (ISTP)

Main difference

One is realistic, the other is theoretical

More stuff

Sensors talk about real stuff. What's going on now, what happened, who's doing what/who, news/pop culture, current stuff. They have a direct style of communicating and say things in clear terms. Sensors use common sense and don't trust anything they can't see for themselves.

Intuitives talk about what could or should or might be. Underlying patterns, implications, meanings. They have an indirect style of communicating, meaning they don't really get to the point, they just allude to it or imply it. Intuitives rely on ideas and the potential that things are true in theory. They are not as connected to reality as it currently exists. They'll always argue that last point because their hazy version of reality is all they'll ever know.

Also read this post.

Myths

Sensors are less intelligent. Hopefully I don't have to explain this. Sensors don't make up 70% of the population because they're stupid. This idea mostly comes from angsty Intuitives who felt bullied or excluded by Sensors in high school and want something they can use against them. Yeah, no elaboration needed here. Anyone who believes this is worthless trying to convince otherwise.

Feeling vs. Thinking

Adam Levine (ESTP) and Katy Perry (ESFP)

Main difference

One prioritizes values, the other prioritizes logic

Other stuff

Feelers go by what feels consistent with their values/morals. Values are ultimately rooted in either social harmony/equality (Fe) or being true to oneself (Fi). They are more open about their personal lives. Overall they seem warmer. Not comfortable with conflict. Feelers strive for happiness.

Thinkers are rational above all. Feelers think they are. They're not. They'll do what makes themselves/others happy before they do the most logical thing. Thinkers come off as somewhat cold or unfeeling (surprise). Their feelings don't get hurt as easily. More willing to debate/argue/piss people off (intentionally or not). Thinkers strive for success.

Myths

Thinkers are smarter. Obvious stereotype is obvious.

Perceiving vs. Judging

Christina Aguilera (ISFP) and Beyonce (ISFJ)

Most MBTI people would probably have no problem with what I've said up to this point. When it comes to P vs J though, everyone seems to get their panties in a twist. "There's no difference between P and J! You have to go by the functions! J and P just tell you what functions they use!" They exclaim. Wrong again. There are some distinct differences between P and J types.

Main difference

One is Type A, the other is Type B

More stuff

What do I mean by Type A and Type B? Type A is the planner. The get-shit-done-r. This, of course, is the Judger. Not proceeding without direction or a goal. A situation where everything is stable and in working order is where they thrive. They know how to manage and assign duties. Things get done in a step-by-step fashion. They speak in an assured, intentional manner and are less prone to tripping over their words. Judgers are good at preparing. Tendency toward dichotomies: things are right or wrong, black or white, acceptable or unacceptable.

Type B does not get much credit in pop culture. They're seen as laid-back and go-with-the-flow. Which is true but there's more. Perceivers thrives on instability. They're the quick thinkers (N) or reactors (S). They slowly die in repetitive, predictable environments. They're the type who can't won't hold down a job for very long. They tend to like being independent contractors and choosing their own hours. They do their best work through improvising. They speak quickly and choppily, and are more likely to use lots of filler words or ramble. Perceivers are good at handling the unexpected. See things on a spectrum; nothing is good or bad, everything is relative.

Myths

Judgers are organized and Perceivers are messy. Anyone can be messy or neat for any reason. I, for example, like my space to look appealing and having a mess puts me in a bad mood. My J dad is a packrat who seriously needs help, but he is very stubborn methodical, or mentally organized.

I'll add more to these later if I think of more stuff. This is all I got for now. But yeah, typing by letters is not as unreliable as it's made out to be. It gives you a good basis for what someone might be, and you can always reassess their type later once you get a better idea of how types look in reality. Don't live and die by MBTI.

As always, I don't know how to write interesting conclusions, so here's a picture of Justin Bieber's latest poor choices in hairstyling. Someone really needs to put a stop to this:

This is what happens when you have too many enablers

TV Typing: The Walking Dead

In honor of my guest post on Zombies Ruin Everything, I'm gonna start a new post series. I've been wanting to do this for a while but I feel like every other damn MBTI blog does this kind of thing. Or they try to anyway. Unfortunately there are a bunch of shitty typings out there and something needs to be done about it goddammit. I can't sit around and let people be wrong on the internet.

So uh, yeah, welcome to TV Typing.

The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead has a huge cast of characters that fluctuate throughout the seasons. I'm gonna try to cover as many as I can. This post will be fucking epic.

Note: As of the time this was posted, we are waiting for the second half of Season 5.

Season 1

Rick: ENTJ

Man I hated Rick in the first few seasons. He was all inferior Fi trying to "do the right thing", except he obviously wasn't good at it. It wasn't natural for him. Only around season 4ish when he became the badass, take-no-prisoners (literally) dude he was meant to be, did I start to like him.

Rick's strength is in planning and taking care of thangs. He, like all ENTJs, is a natural leader and the rest of the group looks to him when in doubt. Rick's not concerned with doing things the "right" way (SJ). He's very adaptive (Se) considering the circumstances of, you know, zombie apocalypse.

Shane: ESTP

I always thought Rick and Shane should've switched names. Rick is the standard bad guy name. It rhymes with dick, which Shane is. He's your typical bullheaded Se force of nature. He doesn't like taking orders one bit, and purposely rebels against Rick in spite of them being "best friends". Shane's no leader, but he also doesn't like being led, and he has no problem making that known.

If not for tertiary Fe, I don't think anyone would've put up with this guy. He knew how to get on people's good sides when he needed to. But for the most part he was a loose cannon with no direction (inferior Ni) all the way up until he turned into a zombie.

Lori: ESFJ

Oh my God this woman. When people complain about their ESFJ mothers this is what they're talking about. Lori is simultaneously a fragile little flower and a control freak. She is overly protective of Carl, and she tries to assert her power over the other females in the group. She also has this F-dom air of moral superiority.

Only in the last season she was alive did she finally realize how irritating she was. I bet it was after Andrea told her off. That was a damn good scene. Andrea became my favorite character after that. One of them anyway. Speaking of...

Andrea: ESFP

Yeah, bitch. ESFP. Andrea is like the Pamela Anderson of Walking Dead. In the beginning of the series she was just kind of "there". But later on, when she got with Shane (ew), her Se started to come out. Not to mention she always has a cute outfit. That ain't a product of any other function, I'll tell you hwat.

Girl is obviously not an introvert either. She was able to get on the Governor's good side. That takes some serious social skills. Granted it was by sleeping with him but do what you gotta do, right? Still, she had that Fi softness to her and did her best to prevent the dude from killing fucking everybody.

Dale: ENFJ

Ugh, I'm just shaking my head thinking of talking about this dude. He takes the cake for "most annoying as fuck character". The day he died was a fucking load off my back.

Dale has no problem going around and manipulating everyone into doing his bidding. Only he tries to be all coy and innocent about it. He tries to "take care" of Andrea by asserting his Fe all over her, and then when that inevitably fails he just starts spewing his impractical Idealistic bullshit all over the entire camp. Not to mention his voice is just... God. Just shut up already. Alright, next.

Glenn: INTP

I like Glenn. He's an honest dude. He's also one of the only cute guys on the show, which helps. Some people type Glenn as an INFP because he, um, idealizes Maggie I guess? I don't know. Pretty stupid typing if you ask me. What I think they're actually seeing is inferior Fe (which INTPs use a surprising amount) wanting to save everyone.

When we first meet Glenn we find out he used to be a pizza delivery guy. The reason he survived so long while still being an N type is because he knows the routes of the entire city and could figure out the logistics of how to get from point A to B without being eaten. He also doesn't have that irksome, head-in-the-clouds, blatant inability to think realistically that is characteristic of INFP.

Carl: ISFP

Carl's a cool kid too. Another of my favorites. In the beginning he was just an annoying kid with a cowboy hat, but he's grown into a very independent, self-sufficient teenager. He reminds me a lot of this ESFP I used to know...anyway. For the most part, kids should not be typed, but by the teenage years you can usually tell who's what.

Carl is quite clearly in his Se development phase. Though he acts tough, he doesn't have the hard personality that comes with Ti-dom. He has a moral code he follows, one that clashes with his dad's. And he has enough Se to stand up to Rick, as opposed to a timid INFP who'd go sulk in their room with a book.

T-Dog: ISTJ

T-Dog is like the Token of Walking Dead. The writers seem to have just thrown him in there, not bothering to give him much if any character development. If I had to guess, I'd say ISTJ, but honestly I don't think this dude can be reliably typed.

He has a bit of an independent streak in him, but for the most part he just tags along for the ride. He joins Shane's little posse once he decides Shane's the better bet for survival. ISTJ often latches on to whoever they consider to be in charge. Eventually the only black guy on the show gets killed off and no one notices. He is soon replaced with another black dude who has a somewhat more prominent role.

Carol: ISTJ

Poor Carol. She really drew the short end of the survival stick. She got an abusive husband, she lost her kid, said kid turned zombie and then got shot right in front of Carol's face. In the beginning I didn't like her at all. She just let everyone walk all over her. She did make a good example of an unhealthy ISTJ though.

Eventually she came into her own, but not before Te fucked her over. Following Rick's general rule that any threats should be taken care of (Si), she took the initiative and killed two sick people in the camp without getting Rick's go-ahead, and without telling anyone. SJs don't like to get caught breaking the rules, so I've heard. But, she did survive on her own, which is more than could be said for ISFJ.

Daryl: ISTP

Daryl is not your stereotypical hot guy, but if anyone, I'd say he is the show's heartthrob. I think it's also safe to say he is the fan favorite. He's definitely one of mine. If Daryl isn't ISTP, I don't know who is. His tracking and archery skills are on point. That's some serious Ti-Se shit.

ISTPs were basically made for surviving a zombie apocalypse. I don't think anyone's denying Daryl is an ISTP. Then again I have seen some downright dumb typings by Intuitives who are so far removed from reality they can't see what's right in front of them. May God have mercy on their souls.

Merle: ESTJ

Man, it's uncanny how many douchey characters end up being Te types. ESTJ and INTJ in particular. No wonder they have such a bad reputation. Anyhoo. Merle is, well, an asshole. It goes without saying that most people hate him. He looks out for Number One. No, not pee you idiot, the other number one. However, there is one redeeming quality about him. He is loyal to his brother. He may treat him like shit but above all, he's loyal. The hallmark of an SJ.

Merle is a leader. A leader without a following, sure, but a leader. And a survivor. Dominant Te allows him to judge situations rationally. He certainly don't got any Fe. Plus the whole watered-down inferior Fi morals. Yeah, unhealthy ESTJ. I can't say I completely hate him though. At least he's an asshole who's self-aware. 

Season 2

Maggie: ESFP

More proof that ESFPs are just the best characters ever. Maggie is my girl. She's fucking awesome. And I have no problem saying she's hella hot. I approve of the Maggie and Glen coupling. You know what else? She was a recurring character on season 3 of Supernatural. I mean not Maggie but you know. She's a killer villain too.

Guess I got sidetracked. So. Maggie's a pretty everyday ESFP. She's got a dominant, headstrong personality, but she's also very friendly and sweet. Except when people try to push her around. Se is a very self-protective function. It also knows how to react quickly, and Maggie can kill zombies like it's another day at the office.

Hershel: ISFJ

Hershel the family man. Standard meek ISFJ guardian who wants what's best for everyone. I don't have anything bad to say about Hershel. He's like the anti-Dale. He's got morals but not just for the sake of having them. Family is what matters most to him.

His Fe is evident near the end of season 2 when we find out he's been harboring the zombies and, um, feeding them. He's so stuck in the past that he still sees them all as his neighbors, family, friends. And you can't have houseguests without feeding them, obviously. Poor guy eventually gets jerked back into reality in the epic barn slaughter of Season 2 and eventually becomes the moral compass of the group.

Beth: ISFP

Beth. Beth, Beth, Beth. Why the fuck did you have to hook up with Daryl? Ugh. Beth is annoying in a more passive way. It's like she's completely unaware of anything outside her own reality. If it weren't for her craftiness and survival skills in the hospital, along with her attitude, I'd peg her as an out-of-touch INFP.

Beth is an example of why people find Fi selfish. Throughout the show she comes across as this little girl who's always on the verge of throwing a sissy fit. She reminds me of all the quasi-hipsters I come across in LA. And got damn with the singing. Please, girl. Your voice is about as attractive as Taylor Swift's. Apparently I'm not the only one who didn't like her.

Season 3

Michonne: ENFJ

Awww shyit. Michonne. Fucking badass. Another of my favorites. I know what you're thinking. "How the fuck is Michonne ENFJ? ISTP all the way." No dude. Michonne is not an ISTP if you actually watched the end of season 4/beginning of 5.

Michonne is another example of an unhealthy version of her type. In her case, her shadow type helps her survive. But when she finally lets her guard down, when we see her in her natural state, she is brimming with Fe. Especially when it comes to Carl. Of course it's not impossible that an ISTP could act this way, but on purpose? Because they like being affectionate? Nah, I don't think so. Fe smileyness and Se hunting skills. Not to mention that whole taking-care-of-sick-Andrea-for-months situation. Not exactly an ISTP thing.

The Governor: ENTJ

Ugh. Talk about a hateable character. If Rick is Good Guy ENTJ, the Governator is Bad Guy ENTJ. It's no wonder they don't get along. ENTJs don't tend to play well together. Let's just say he got what he had coming.

The Governor has grand, delusional Ni plans for his own Pleasantville in Zombieland. He runs his society quite well through Te, and he sure knows how to influence a crowd (Te & Fe's specialty). He's also a control freak. He has a wee little problem with "doing the right thing", thanks again to inferior Fi.

Milton: INTP

Hey look, Michael Bolton survived the zombie apocalypse. Looks like he finally got rid of that horrible name, though I can't say that new one's much of an upgrade. Bleh. No comment.

Milton is the stereotypical nerdy science geek INTP who never sees daylight and insists on using proper grammar. He's clearly not got any Se in him, though his Ti+Ne tells him that somehow the zombies are sentient, even when Andrea tells him it's patently not true. INTPs are similar to INFPs that way, believing something on the basis that it's potentially true. His inferior Fe means he absolutely sucks at covering up the truth, which ultimately leads to his demise.

Tyreese: INFJ

Tyreese is a big buff black dude. You'd think he'd be some kind of ISTP. Nope. Writers dun good this time. He's a damn INFJ softie. And guess what other show he's appeared on? The Wire. Yeah mayn.

Tyreese mostly keeps to himself. He doesn't make too much fuss and he doesn't like when other people do either. Tyreese struggles with his moral code and seems to have a heavy Ni mental load at all times. In typical NF fashion, he always wants to do the right thing. He has an immensely hard time killing anyone, including bad guys, and will do all he can to avoid it. One thing he excels at is being a father figure to Judith, thanks to Fe.

Sasha: ESTP

Sasha's a hard one because she doesn't seem to have much character development. Or at least I'm not seeing it. She just seems normal. She doesn't come across as being overly emotional, but then she also doesn't seem coldly logical. Given how good her survival skills are, I'd have to pin her as a Se-dom.

People who have a fairly even mix of logical and emotional in their personality tend to be ExxPs, whose functions are Pe Ji Je Pi. So, though the first judging function is higher up, it's hidden, and the weaker tertiary one shows up more in conversation. That said, I don't think she's a Fi user. She doesn't have a problem taking the trash out, and though ESFPs don't for the most part either, there is usually a little hesitance/resistance.

Season 4

Bob: ENFP

I like me a Bob. Bobs are usually reliable, stand-up guys. You might recognize Bob from The Wire, and if you don't you need to get on that shit because it's one of the best shows ever made. Bob is a happy-go-lucky guy, except for the little drinking problem he has. He has the hopelessly positive outlook every healthy ENFP embodies.

The reason Bob and Sasha work as a couple is because he shines a ray of cheery idealism on her stark STP reality. Bob is all too happy to help everyone out wherever he can. He's an extrovert's extrovert. When the group gets split up, Bob, in true Inspirer form, encourages Maggie to go after her husband at Terminus. Unfortunately his Realist girlfriend can see Terminus for what it really is, and it ends up being, well, not ideal.

Tara: INFP

Tara seems like an alright girl and all, but there's a reason she spent the entire first year of the apocalypse in the same damn apartment. She's not exactly equipped for survival. In the race for Least Likely to Survive a Zombie Apocalpyse, INFP comes out the winner. INFJ at least has inferior Se going for them.

Tara's true colors come out in the big jailhouse showdown. She is so shellshocked after being removed from INFP LaLaLand that she literally spends the whole time cowering in the corner. The only reason she's survived this long is sheer dumb luck. She tags along with Glenn and champions his idealistic search for Maggie, all the while staring at her shoes and kinda sorta insisting that the group should just do what Glenn says because he's sooo dreamy.

Rosita: ESFP

I'm not as fond of Rosita. I can definitely relate to her, but she just doesn't seem very likable. She obviously got invited into Sarge's group because she can tackle the walkers. But like fellow ESFP Andrea, she just loves a man in power. Loves. Because Abraham is super sexy. (barf)

Rosita's got that Se dominant personality, but you can tell she's got a soft side behind it all. She truly cares about Abraham. She also has a bit of a Fi moral streak in her. Call it tough love.

Sgt. Abraham: ESTJ

Alright, as an ESFP, I just... I seriously can't even. Like, what? Handlebar mustache and square-shaped red hair? How on earth is this attractive, Rosita? Whatever. Sarge here is as SJ as you're gonna get. He demands order goddammit.

Unfortunately, Abe is not too up on his people-reading skills. That comes with Se and potentially Fe. And he's not too good at foreseeing the future either, thanks to low Ne. So when Eugenius reveals himself to be a not-scientist who cannot save the world, let's say it doesn't go over very well.

"Dr." Eugene: INTJ

Eugene is a nice example of a redneck INTJ. Thinks and acts like he knows everything when really he's just good at spinning his bullshit into a credible verbal format. Gotta hand it to that inferior Se though, it knows how to survive, albeit barely. Dat Ni evil plotting.

Eugene's not a complete idiot, though. He knows how to read. And he's intent on being seen as an NT intellectual, thanks to Te. Te needs external validation that it's smart.

Season 5

Father Gabriel: ISFJ

Hey hey hey, another Wire alum. Father Gabriel is a naughty ISFJ. He did the unthinkable: he ignored his Fe and saved himself, and he will forever punish himself for it. "But how can he be an ISFJ? Isn't Fi the one that's selfish?" No. People act abnormally under stress. 

Gabe here is quite aware he's unfit for survival out there. What he was good at was being a moral leader in his community, and well, you can't exactly come back from leaving your neighbors for dead when you have an entire church to house them in. He's a lost little ISFJ who no longer has a sense of purpose, and thus spends most of his time in the grip of inferior Ne, fretting about what other awful shit will happen in this life and the afterlife that follows.

Noah: ISFP

Noah's another looker. When I think of ISFP, he's what comes to mind. Laid-back nice guy who's not afraid to strike out on his own. And not afraid to stick up for what he believes in.

There's not much to say about Noah because he just got introduced. He hasn't done much. But he does know how to survive. And he seems to be a pretty cool guy. I bet he and Carl will become friends.

Alright, let's round up which types would survive a zombie apocalypse...

SP: 9

SJ: 7

NT: 5

NF: 5

Neh. Way too many Intuitives and not nearly enough SPs. Excellent job on representing all the types though, fellow screenwriters. Here's hoping an ENTP will round out Season 5. Or you know, more SPs, like there should be during a damn apocalypse.

Jesus my brain is tired. That took me seven fucking hours. I think I'm done for the week.