Spotting Types in the Wild

So you've figured out your MBTI type. Your functions, hopefully. You've memorized all the fluffy horoscope descriptions of yours and everyone around you. Guess what. All of this doesn't mean jack shit if you can't recognize the types in real life.

MBTI is only useful as far as you can throw it. You can study the cognitive functions and all that crap all you want, but until you know how they manifest themselves in real people - until you can acquire SP-level people-reading skills - you just wasted hours of your life reading a bunch of theoretical bullshit.

Here are some pointers on recognizing each type, acquired and assembled from hours of life experience, not books.

ESFJ

Guys tend to come across as gay because they are very affectionate and warm. Smile with their whole face and laugh a lot. Can be a bit vain. Prone to taking a lot of selfies. Like a tame version of ESFP. These will be your typical high school Mean Girls or sorority girls. Great at talking to people in front of their face as well as behind their back. Kitty from That 70's Show.

ISFJ

Guys can come off as oddly ISTP-like - strong, silent type, but have a protective nature to them and are soft at heart. Usually conform to their gender role. The word wifey was coined after an ISFJ. Down-to-earth homemaker type. Not too much of a personality but very nice. Jillian from Workaholics.

ESTJ

Like to be in control. Intent. Usually outgoing and able to command a room. Head honcho type. Control the conversation, somewhat rigid in demeanor. They have defined expectations for every situation. Natural tendency to be a dick. Always appear to be in control, even if in a vulnerable position. Don't take bullshit. Opinionated. Need to be taken seriously. Anders from Workaholics.

ISTJ

Your typical goodie-goodie, with a bit of a tendency to be smarter-than-thou. Seek stability, a solid future plan. Unbelievably predictable but very reliable. Play it safe, plan ahead, very practical. Not up on current trends or anything new. Blend in and like it. Literally do not understand doing things "just for fun." Don't try to argue with them. Just, don't. Red from That 70's Show.

ENFP

Random. Energetic. Try to be intellectual. Quirky sense of humor which doesn't always make sense. Can get very enthusiastic but can also get very sad. They can be very talkative and also rather quiet, sometimes in the same conversation. Strong beliefs. Act goofy but in actuality take themselves rather seriously. Troy from Community.

INFP

Your typical awkward introvert. Needs to be "different". Will probably be found in the corner of the room reading or making friends with the house pet. Has esoteric interests and prone to fan-girling. Extremely idealistic and as such is prone to depression. Extreme case of the feels. Quirky once their shell is busted open, but still in a slightly awkward way. Attracted to morbid things. Britta from Community.

ENFJ

Similar to the ESFJ but more reserved in demeanor, and has a bit of a dark side. The type that gets straight A's, has a great social life, and is still sane. Strong ideals and are outspoken about them. Attend the Gay Pride Parade and various rallies. Outgoing but have a dreamy aura to them. Peeta from Hunger Games.

INFJ

These types are tricky to spot. Generally they look like they've got a lot going on upstairs and give off a mysterious vibe. Aren't too outgoing, but when they do talk it is usually some insightful shit that they've clearly put a lot of thought into. Also attracted to dark things. Sam from Supernatural.

ENTP

The cool nerd. Makes fun of everything because everything is a joke. The type that excels at stand-up comedy. Also the type to embarrass you at a party. Good at beating people with nonsensical arguments. Offbeat. Slacker yet still usually manages good grades. Egotistical sense of humor. Hyde from That 70's Show.

INTP

Stereotypical nerd. Endearingly awkward and quirky. Quiet. Analyzes everything, has a theory about everything. Full of data. Somewhat cynical. Fashion taste is somewhat "off". Very polite, usually. Often have a messy living environment. Glen from The Walking Dead.

ENTJ

Calm, cool, collected. Always looking for something bigger and better. Sees life and people in terms of cost/benefit. Leader. Speaks in clear terms. No man is an island but they sure act like it. Has a physical dominance to them. Similar to ESTJ but has an entrepreneurial, more progressive thinking pattern. Wants to be in control of change, not stability. Girls may seem masculine in persona. Rick from The Walking Dead.

INTJ

Know-it-all. Doesn't say anything but you get the impression they look down on you. Pride themselves on being smarter than everyone else in the room. Judge others based on intelligence. Unenthusiastic. Very blunt and disregards social niceties unless mandatory. Walter from Breaking Bad.

ESFP

People lover. Constantly tries to entertain in one form or another. Somehow manages to make self the center of attention in most situations. Strong personal interests but keeps political/social opinions to self. Seek to maximize fun output at all times. Bored easily. Can be a bit of a loose cannon. Colorful wardrobe, likes brand-name, trendy clothes. Puts effort into appearance. Jesse from Breaking Bad.

ISFP

Toned-down introvert ESFP. Drifts through life. Stop and smell the roses type. Appreciates nature and aesthetically appealing things. Stoner personality. Can come off as snobby. Usually animal lovers. Very serious about their art. Have a distinctly crafted look to them that is their own. The Dude from The Big Lebowski.

ESTP

In-your-face personality. No qualms with lying to get their way. Brash, take-no-prisoner sense of humor. Loves taking risks and shocking people. Alpha. Only follows the rules if they'll get caught - sometimes. Likes to show off. Needs to win. Manipulatively charming. Girls may overemphasize Fe and be girly to an extreme. Jeff from Community.

ISTP

Laidback slacker. Strong, silent type. Very observant of surroundings. Grounded and practical. Doesn't take shit. No problem putting people in their place. Lone wolf type. Private and hard to get to know. Keeps a small circle. Craig from Friday.