Sunday, March 8, 2015

Hot Girl MBTI: Spring Breakers Cast

So I've kind of been avoiding doing a girl version of Hot Guy MBTI, just because I really don't care about girls. And I don't really want them on my blog. Plus there aren't many famous girls I find legit attractive because they all seem high maintenance and not like anyone I'd wanna hang out with.

But. Spring Breakers managed to put pretty much all my girl crushes in one movie, so this post is dedicated to them. Except that one girl no one knows. I think she just got a part because it was her sister's movie. Since I'm doing three in one the descriptions are gonna be shorter, but don't worry I included a bunch of hot pics to make up for it.

Unrelated: I updated the Justin Bieber post and changed his enneagram after someone convinced me otherwise. Turns out we have the exact, same, personality. Great. Nevermind, it's *slightly* different... still though.

Alright. Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, and Selena Gomez. Let's get it on. I mean not like that though. Yeah.

Vanessa Hudgens


Vanessa's one of the rare chill ESFJs in Hollywood. She is exactly the kinda girl I'd hang out with. She's completely comfortable in her own skin. She's her own person. If I were a famous dude she'd be on the top of my prospect list.

On the outside Vanessa comes across ESFP as fuck. Watch her in interviews though and it's pretty easy to tell Fe is her dominant function:

See how affable and warm she seems, how expressive her face is, etc. 100% Fe. Not to mention her Instagram account, which is full of pictures of the same thing. Fe has a different way of connecting with the camera than Fi. Put it this way: Fe is interested in the camera, Fi is interested in itself.

Fe: the origin of duckface

This one's not as easy to distinguish, it's more implied. Fe-Si is generally more outgoing and animated than Fe-Ni. Might have to do with that lively Ne that follows. People tend to underestimate the usage/influence of the tertiary function.

7w8 so/sx

I'm pretty sure this is why Vanessa comes off ESFP. She's not as much into her image (heart type). She's just out to have a good time. 7w8 is probably one of the wildest enneagrams. Our motto is pretty much, get out of my way so I can do what I want. But being an so-dom along with a Fe-dom, she still is conscious of how she comes off to others. I don't see much self-pres in her. She seems relationship-oriented. So/sx. No wonder I like her, we're the same type.

Ashley Benson


I feel like Ashley and I might get along and we might not. It's because I see a whole bunch of myself in her. The way she carries herself, the way she talks, her expressions, etc. I don't think I'd get along with myself. I know me too well. I know the kinda shit I pull and how I think. It'd be one of those friendships that would always be on the border of frenemy territory. But she is still undeniably hot.

Ashley definitely gives off a casual vibe. I know because I recognize it in myself and a lot of the people I've hung out with, all of whom are... SPs. Yep. It's in the gait. We're very comfortable in our environment.

You can see in this interview how she uses it as well. Notice how Selena came up with a backstory (Si) and gave herself a role in the group (Fe). Ashley defined her character by watching videos of real people and emulating them (Se), identifying them with her character (Fi).

See, she even smiles the same as I do. That's that cunning Fi smile not letting anyone in on what they're thinking. Or feeling, I guess. Fi is kind of in its own little world while simultaneously being part of the external world. It's kinda hard to explain. Like a live-action fantasy or something.

Remember the stuff I said about Fe and Fi's relationship with the camera? Actually this is gonna be hard to describe to a non-Se type, since a lot of the stuff I notice I take for granted. Vanessa (Fe) is completely connected to the camera. But Ashley (Fi) is still a part of the "real world," the camera's just capturing her in it.

Man, this movie is like a Se/Fi fest. Everything about it is visually on point. The outfits look exactly like shit I could pull out of my closet right now. The setting is beautiful. The scenes have this sexy ISFP vibe to them that make the words not matter. The plot could have used improvement, but that's because it came secondary to all the eye candy that made this movie awesome as fuck. It is an ISFP movie after all. Ok back on topic.

7w8 so/sx

I swear I'm not trying to type everyone I relate to as my type. I make an effort not to do that. But Ashley doesn't seem uptight or into herself enough to be a heart type, and she doesn't resemble any of the body types either. 7 is the closest, plus it's typical for ESFP. She's more independent/self-assured than a 6 wing. But not nearly intense/focused enough to be sx or sp dominant. Based on this interview (click it, there's some rad pics in there) I'm gonna say so/sx. I don't see any sp survival-related thought patterns.

Selena Gomez


I know the theme so far has been using pictures from the actual movie, but Selena had a pretty boring role and I only want hot pics on my blog.

Yep, Selena is about as ESFJ as it comes. We don't seem like we'd run in the same social circles. Too goody-goody and tame. She seems like a decent chick though.

Like I said, Selena's your typical goody-goody Fe-Si type. Follows the rules and treats everyone nicely for the most part. Socially appropriate. I guess I'll post an interview to show you how Fe she is. This is literally the first one that came up, think it speaks for itself:

Very emotionally expressive, very direct in her speech, talking about her emotions objectively (extroverted functions are objective). Then around 3:13 talking about how everyone feels. Yep. Moving on.

Once again, nothing really stands out about Si. It's a pretty normalizing function. I think Selena comes off as pretty normal. She's got that priest's daughter SFJ vibe to her. No Ni plans to change the world (see: Demi Lovato and her eating disorder crusade), no weird Ni mystical aura. Just a very down-to-earth, stable personality.

7w6 so/sx

I'm not solid on this but whatever. I've seen Selena typed as 7w8 on some other enneagram blog and that seems rather absurd. But I think there is something to that 7 because she's kind of all over the place career-wise. Still she needs that 6 security blanket, which is why she stuck with Justin Bieber for so long. 7 is kinda odd for ESFJ but I don't see her as any other type. She's probably a 792. So/sx just because she seems pretty socially oriented, she has no intensity to her and her sp instinct is quite clearly last given her uh, relationship and drug addiction issues, ahem.

Alright guys, cherish it while it lasts cuz I am not seeing any more Hot Girl MBTIs in my future. Blech.